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Jokes

 

Well, they say laughter is the best medicine, as long as you don’t pop your stitches!! Here are this weeks jokes - enjoy.

 

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the
Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only
survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they
decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually
they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the
other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man
offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and
isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the
other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his
might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold,
NEW TIRES!!!

 

Genuine Complaints to the Local Council

A bloke is showing two young American girls around London and they come to a Pelican crossing. He presses the button and the pedestrian signal goes 'bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep....' 'Whats that for?' asked one of the girls. 'Oh thats just to let the blind know that the lights have changed' said the bloke. 'My Gaad' she said, really shocked, 'in the States we don't even let them drive...'

 

 

 

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, meets with his accountant. The Godfather says to the accountant, ‘Where’s the
three million bucks you embezzled from me?’ The accountant doesn’t answer. The Godfather pulls out a gun and says, ‘If you
don’t tell me where it is I’ll shoot you in the head and splatter your brains against the wall!’ The attorney interrupts, ‘Sir, the
man is a deafmute, but I can interpret for you.’ The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million
dollars is. The accountant signs back, ‘The money’s hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!’ ‘Well, what did he
say?’ asks the Godfather. The attorney replies, ‘He says he doesn’t think you have the guts to pull the trigger.’

 

Got a good joke ? Post it in jokes section of the forum.